Blog...Pumpkins

Today there were Pumpkins in the dining hall.
PUMPKINS EVERYWHERE!!!!

So I had a brilliant idea during a conversation that I had during those moments of amazement at the discovery of pumpkins (everywhere). I decided that I would add the word 'pumpkin' into every sentence. I think it's a pretty excellent idea, when you consider how many pumpkins where there. It's like there were enough pumpkins to put in over nine thousand sentences. I have never had an idea that included so many pumpkins.


The best thing about putting pumpkins in every sentence is that it doesn't even have to make sense.
For an example of how this pumpkin idea works: Today during class we discussed the formation of the pumpkin Moon.
The fun thing is that you don't know if there is such a thing as a pumpkin Moon or if I was just saying 'pumpkin'.

I suppose I should be less stressed pumpkin, then I would probably not be avoiding stress by saying 'pumpkin'. Oh shoot, I just remembered I have to go look at apartments...pumpkin.


I love pumpkins.

You should love pumpkins too.

Da Bears (the baby ones)

Being a Cubs fan sucks.

I don't know how to explain how much of an understatement that is...being a Cubs fan is BEYOND horrible. I tried to liken it to Hell, but my dad (also a Cubs fan) corrected me, instead likening it to Purgatory. Yes, the Cubs never quite let you go to the deepest depths of fire, they always do what they can to give you hope, like you might go somewhere...only to snatch it away as you resign yourself to MORE waiting. And wait is what the Cubs fan will do...wait...and wait...and wait.

I was born into the tradition of waiting, tho I may not have realized it until the magical summer of 1998. That summer Sammy Sosa (my hero, until I realized he was a dirty cheater) and Mark McGwire raced each other to see who would set the record for most home runs hit in a single season. Both players broke the previous record of 61 (*) but McGwire ended up with the higher tally. No big deal, Sosa's heroics (like McGwire's, probably fueled by steroids), along with help from rookie phenom (and current BEAST of a closer) Kery Wood, had fueled the Cubs on their way to securing the Wild Card spot in the playoffs. The team got the spot after a one game playoff and riding the wave of their momentum they were swept by the Atlanta Braves, only totally 4 hits during the 3 game series.

I still dared to hope, loving the losers as they failed to make the playoffs for the next few years. Then came 2003, the year where I realized that I just might hate being a Cubs fan...

If I remember it right, the Cubs were up in the National League Championship series 3 games to 1, after a dominating performance over the Atlanta Braves. The 2003 Cubs could hit, and their pitching was amazing, led by aces Kerry Wood and Mark Prior. They had a lead in game 5 of the best-of-seven series against the Florida Marlins (yes, the Marlins) and were only a few outs away from making it to the World Series for the first time since World War 2. The Marlins batter hit the ball deep into foul territory in the outfield. Cubs outfielder Moises Alou jumps up for what should have been an easy out and instead the ball is knocked away from him by the hand of fate...in this case going by the hated name of Steve Bartman (pictured in all his foul reality at the beginning of this blog).

I stayed long enough to watch the Cubs blow their lead after that and then left the room, slamming the door and vowing not to watch baseball any more.

I didn't miss much.

The Cubs managed to lose the next two games, and the Marlins went on to win the World Series. Steve Bartman would later go into the witness protection program...

I casually followed the Cubs for the next few years in disgust as they continued their tradition of abstinence from excellence. I say 'casually' like I didn't really care, when really it was only due to the fact that we don't have TV. Otherwise I don't think I would have missed out on much of the losing. I happened to catch a game last year, and watched in wonder as the Cubs showed some fight. 'Fight' taking the form of an actual brawl between ace Carlos Zambrano and teammate Michael Barret and later a shouting match between manager Lou Piniella and an umpire. I was intrigued, but not much else, after all the Cubs were having a miserable season. But they managed to turn it around somehow...the team stormed back to take the Central Division away from the Milwaukee Brewers...and thus claimed a playoff spot.

The Cubs were swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks that year.

I shouted at my poor computer that did nothing other than display the espn.com GameCast...

This year was something new. I had TV finally and was able to catch the tail end of the Cubbies' dominating 2008 regular season. I witnessed brilliant home runs, a no-hitter by Zambrano, and amazing catches. They went 96-64, winning the Central Division by a huge margin and had the best record in the National League. This all added up to a playoff matchup with the lowly Los Angeles Dodgers, a team that buoyed by new aquistion Manny Ramirez had managed to barely have a winning record.

I watched the first few innings of Game 1, skipping dinner to make sure Ryan Dempster (how is this guy a starter?) was worthy of the trust Piniella had placed in him. I was impressed. And when Mark DeRosa hit a two-run homer to put the Cubs ahead 2-0 I happily went to my study session. Then I watched the GameCast in horror as suddenly the Dodgers are up by 4...a grand slam. Then the lead grows...LA wins 7-2.

It's ok, I didn't expect much out of Dempster. I still had hope...

Game 2 featured Zambrano against another pitcher I had never heard of. Big Z gets shelled...
Dodgers:10
Cubs: 3

I couldn't watch most of this...but I still followed the score on the Net, cringing w/ each update.

Game 3 I had to watch from beginning to end. I prayed for a miracle. And suddenly a miracle happens...the ball is hit perfectly, it hits third base and goes foul, somehow ending up INSIDE of the wall....and the Dodgers runner advances to second on what should have been an out. He makes it to third on what appeared to be an easy tag...then scores on the next play.

And the Cubs never recovered.

Swept by the Dodgers...It was everything I could to restrain my screams at the TV. I couldn't turn it off as I watched Los Angeles celebrate what was supposed to be our year.

My dad says he gave up on the Cubs in 1969...That year the Cubbies had a division lead of 8.5 games as late as August 19th. AUGUST....NINETEENTH....
They blew it and didn't make the playoffs.

I think if I am lucky enough to have kids I will tell them that 2008 is the year I gave up on the Cubs. I hope that they will still have hope, because I'm sure that the Cubs still won't have won by then. It's now been 101 years since the Cubs won the World Series...and time keeps going by...

I'm still a Cubs fan...but it sucks.

Academia and Chair Stealing

NOT REALLY FUNNY:

Today I found another example of what I don't want to be as an adult. I think I find myself doing that more and more as I reach the age of being CONSIDERED an adult...

I spent the better part of my summer finding examples of adults I do not want to imitate. Don't get me wrong, as much as I dislike my country 'hometown', there are multitudes of people there that I hold in the highest respect. However, working in a small-town supermarket I was exposed to a wide variety of unappealing people. These ranged anywhere from the extremely rude to the extremely stupid, with the smelly and senile thrown into the mix as well (of course there are combinations of all these features in some cases). You may think that I'm being a bit rude myself by saying this, but let me explain. I won't rant too much as there are enough funny stories about these people to fill a book (an idea I am rather considering...). To name only a few:

• the guy who cussed me out when I asked if he needed help
• the lady who put a gash in my friend's head with her truck and then drove away after a half-hearted inquiry into whether the blood all over his head was a big deal
• the man who asked for a product that didn't exist, and then acted like I was retarded when I told him we didn't carry it
• the lady who brought a busted six-pack of soda BACK into the store, standing there while it leaked all over the floor I would later have to mop

Anyways, I managed to escape this summer unscathed, with the exception of the countless thoughts of "I don't want to be like that as an adult..." Returning to the prestigious college campus, my interaction with adults lessened and changed demographics, from country folk to scholars. In many ways I was partial to the scholar (as a stereotype) but I am currently rethinking this assessment. I thought it would be different from the lack of manners I was bombarded with this summer...I was wrong. In the academic world there is just as much disregard for manners, perhaps more so, buoyed by the pretentiousness that some believe SHOULD come with knowledge. I could most likely come up with as many negative examples of adults based on college experiences as I could from the supermarket days...

I live by the Book that says we are to honor those put in authority of us, but (and I HATE adding but's to may Biblical beliefs) I still think that the authorities should try to be deserving of the honor I will give them regardless...

It seems oftentimes that adults, in this case college professors, treat the 'youth' with a disrespect that I think is unwarranted and offensive. The recent example that brings all this to mind was of no real significance, but it was the principle of the matter that irked me. I and two of my friends were going to get coffee after a class this morning and I had pulled three chairs around a table to wait for my friends to get their drinks. Apparently, a random professor needed a chair for HIS table. What does he do? He walks over to MY table and without a word, takes a chair and moves it several tables over to HIS table. It's not really the taking that bothers me, I probably would have given him the chair if he had asked, but this was not the case. The guy simply TOOK. It irritates me that I am not viewed as worthy of common courtesy. No "please", no "may I?", no "excuse me...", just the empty sound of a chair scraping on a floor, being dragged away from me.

In summary: I don't want to be like THAT when I grow up....

Conundrum

The other day I saw a flyer in the student center that caught my eye. I think it was simply my ADD kicking in as I walked by, but i semi-paused to read the paper. The flyer said something along the lines of:

Interested In Starting a Rock Band?
I'm looking for people to start a band with, if you play any instrument and are interested, text (whatever number) and let me know what you play and when you can practice.

That was basically it. I shrugged it off, thinking it was funny that someone had to resort to strangers to achieve his dreams. Perhaps he should just get more talented friends. Anyways, that was about it...until i saw another copy of the flyer in a hallway on my way to class. Underneath the typed text, somebody had written the following:
Who are you? I would call but I don't know if we already dislike each other.

I thought that was pretty win...

LOL Notes Part 2

Since I had my note-passing notes taken away from me by the oh-so-pleasant Dr. Not-To-Be-Named (I feel like Harry Potter...or wait...Ron Weasley...more on how i AM ron weasley later) I had nothing to do but attempt to pretend to take notes that were about the lecture. These are the things that I 'learned'...and were actually told to me by the professor:

1. Sonar was invented in World War One AND Two...(the fact that we have to be told what sonar was is only slightly less ridiculous than the fact that the prof apparently thinks that there is not a twenty year difference between the two world wars)

2. Echolocation is used by bats because...(wait for it)...they are BLIND! Maybe this is where the phrase 'blind as a bat' comes from...

3. Diffraction-something that diffracts

4. Lightning is apparently responsible for its own noise...not thunder

5. All people in the 1940s were stupid according to the teacher. I guess we are smart tho, and that is why we are learning all this stuff.

6. Some tubes are open and some tubes are closed.

7. The Doppler Effect-all I got out of this was that it looks a LOT like when Magneto uses his powers...I'm pretty sure the example picture showed a train getting wrecked by what looked like Magneto's powers...

8. One shift, two shift, red shift, blue shift....not really sure what that means, but i wrote it down for some reason.

LOL Notes

I never thought I would honestly be able to say that i was thankful for a video that was popular amongst THAT crowd...the crowd of people who find videos and such as that are NOT funny (or find videos that WERE funny...until this group found them, usually LONG after I have). Sadly the day for this absurdity is today.

Let me explain...
NATURAL WORLD: (noun) a ridiculously stupid class for one of the HONORS programs at Baylor University. This class operates under the assumption that if you are in this honors program but are not a science major, you must be (logically and obviously) RETARDED. So, despite the fact that I (and many others in this class) have taken advanced classes in science (in my case AP Chemistry and Physics), i am forced to take this class. Not only is this class not educational, as all we are 'taught' is science an elementary school student would know, it is the OPPOSITE of educational. The key to NOT losing brain cells is NOT paying attention.

Usually my method of not paying attention is either texting friends that are NOT in the class, or passing notes (if they are going to treat me like a fourth grader, this is how i will act) to my friends that ARE in the class. The norm here is to fill up sheets of notebook paper w/ discussions about how stupid the class is, again making fun of all the stupid things that are said by the teachers and students occupying this class....

In returning to the point where things began...a very idiotic video (which will remain nameless and will not have a link to it posted) was shown at the beginning of class. Fortunately for me, this video was so stupid, all our note passing revolved around making fun of the video instead of the class and the teacher.

So when the notes got taken up...there was nothing to do but laugh

The Joys of Being Amish

There are some things that are fun...and there are some things that are ridiculous...and then there are some things that are so ridiculous that they must be fun.
RIDICULOUS: telling people that you are Amish when you are obviously not
the point at which it becomes fun: they believe you

This is not a lie, it actually happened. An actual COLLEGE STUDENT believed that I, in my obviously not Amish appearance, am Amish.

No but seriously, I am Amish...every day i wake up and milk the chickens and gather eggs from the cow house and then make my breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of said milk and eggs. Then i must harvest the grains, all the while singing 'bringing in the sheaves' cuz that is the only song that we Amish sing. Then after that i ride horses over to the neighbors on the other side of the hill and we have barn raisings. Last but not least i get on the internet and write my blog...good times

the Olympics again...

So watching the Olympics last night there were several things that i thought should change. It's an amazing thing to watch, but like most things, the Olympics is far from perfect. So three things that would improve it in my opinion....

1. The American announcers need to get a clue. I was watching the women's swimming relay (thing...not sure of the complete event name) and the Australian team was totally dominating. The U.S. wasn't doing bad...but we were in third behind China despite our best efforts. The Aussies were so far ahead of everyone that it wasnt even funny...yet it was, because as they were close to shattering the world record for the event the announcer kept screaming about how the Americans were catching up and THEY JUST MIGHT MAAAAAAAAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! No...it was no competition. Just because you are from America does not mean your team is going to win always...even tho you are doing the announcing.

2. Next Olympics, instead of gold medals, they should award golden statues of Michale Phelps. I don't feel that I really need to back this up, but I will anyway. Again, the guy is dominant. Watching a semifinal heat last night, he was behind for about half of the race, doing what some would refer to as LOLLYGAGGING. Then suddenly he wins by a full body length. The guy is just that good. While the women's relay kept going on and on I eventually decided that they were leaving the race wide open for Michael Phelps to come out of nowhere and win the relay...by himself. I said this as a joke...but seriously....

3. Something needs to happen with the judging. I don't understand how any of this works. I'm no expert, but stuff that i thought was bad was getting amazing scores and stuff that seemed flawless wasnt even placing.
Solution: Make them all go at once...on the same gymnastics set...last one standing wins.

swimmin...like fishies

fish...
people...
swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimming
what would happen if a fish were to swim in the olympics? weeeell, probably they would win, or lose, depending on the intelligence of the fish.

basically, since there are no technical fish in the Olympics, swimming is easy pickings for Michael Phelps. if this guy was a fish, and also a carnivorous fish, i think he would be the king of all the fishes. (note: i fully realize that fish is the plural of fish). watching the Beijing Olympics i am quite unable so far to wrap my head around how good this guy can swim. one would think that a human can only swim so fast, and in the thousands of years that we have been swimming, the fastest possible time for swimming would already have been reached. nope. it took thousands of years to find someone who also happened to be a fish and as a result is destroying world records AND winning gold medals. in the world of steroids, this soon to be Wheaties cover star is not like the other athletes who need to cheat to win. he is just that good.
why?
well there are several options.
1. he actually is a fish
2. he is an alien...i live in a place that is now famous for both aliens and soft drinks. this makes me an authority and as such an authority i can say with much authority that this guy is possibly maybe (probably not) an alien.
3. man...i cant even think of something that is absurd enough to be funny
4. he is that good.

the funny thing is that so many people are so interested. does any normal american really care about swimming during the 3.8 years in between the Olympics? No. Nobody here normally cares about swimming, or fencing, or gymnastics or such as that is featured in the Olympics.
and that is the magic of the Olympics: they make you care a whole lot about something that is otherwise that insignificant

yay Olympics

Snarky and such as...

SNARKY
adjective? noun? verb...possibly
let us (me myself and my retardedness) discuss...
snarky as an adjective. it probably means something between sneaky and narky and ky...short for oKaY. so therefore snarky would describe something very sneaky and absolutely NARKY and pretty oKaY.
now you may need to know what NARKY means...obviously, since it is in all capital letters, it must be an acronym. meaning...
N (is for...) Narcisstic
A (is for...) Alligator
R (is for...) Related (t0)
K (is for...cooKie, that's good enough for me!) Karl
Y (is for...) Yastrimsky

so therefore NARKY pertains to a very self-obsessed alligator who is kin to the famous Karl Yastrimsky and is therefore quite adept at the ballet.
makes perfect sense logically

as for a noun: a snarky is one of a very rare type of leopards that is both amphibious and mammalious and dwells in the suburbs of New York

now that we have that out of the way...i can sleep in peace

secret hospital

so...as run-down of a town as the one i live in is, there are even more trashy ones. naturally, i would never expect to find an exceptionally nice, new hospital in the middle of a field outside one of these towns...

i was surprised

return to blog-land?

so...i found this again.
here is how i will be writing this post...because i can
LIST!
1. Hannah gets a prize...for many reasons but this time specifically for finding my lost blog
2. I lost my blog after creating it...several times i thought to myself "self...remember that blog you made that one time? Whatever happened to that?" Answer: i lost it in the depths of the internet
3. this blog is probably going to be used now that Hannah the Awesome has found it for me
4. poetry may be implemented...thats what i do sometimes and so this may be a medium for sharing of said activity
5. lists are amazing...its like a train of thought....separated into several different cars, just like a real train
6. for those of you who don't know me...i love ellipses...
7. why do we use the word 'love' so much? i love ellipses, i love cake, i love hockey, i love cake (i really like all of those things)...we cheapen the word too much and that should stop...save it for when it's real
8. David's Supermarket is trying to kill me...there has been a string of misfortunes as of late, and today it progressed to me severely cutting my elbow on a loose piece metal in the milk vault...less than two weeks until my escape
9. Baylor needs to start soon. I miss too many people to continue in this whole 'not seeing them thing'
10. ten is a very good number for a stopping point, right?