The Joys of Being Amish

There are some things that are fun...and there are some things that are ridiculous...and then there are some things that are so ridiculous that they must be fun.
RIDICULOUS: telling people that you are Amish when you are obviously not
the point at which it becomes fun: they believe you

This is not a lie, it actually happened. An actual COLLEGE STUDENT believed that I, in my obviously not Amish appearance, am Amish.

No but seriously, I am Amish...every day i wake up and milk the chickens and gather eggs from the cow house and then make my breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of said milk and eggs. Then i must harvest the grains, all the while singing 'bringing in the sheaves' cuz that is the only song that we Amish sing. Then after that i ride horses over to the neighbors on the other side of the hill and we have barn raisings. Last but not least i get on the internet and write my blog...good times

the Olympics again...

So watching the Olympics last night there were several things that i thought should change. It's an amazing thing to watch, but like most things, the Olympics is far from perfect. So three things that would improve it in my opinion....

1. The American announcers need to get a clue. I was watching the women's swimming relay (thing...not sure of the complete event name) and the Australian team was totally dominating. The U.S. wasn't doing bad...but we were in third behind China despite our best efforts. The Aussies were so far ahead of everyone that it wasnt even funny...yet it was, because as they were close to shattering the world record for the event the announcer kept screaming about how the Americans were catching up and THEY JUST MIGHT MAAAAAAAAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! No...it was no competition. Just because you are from America does not mean your team is going to win always...even tho you are doing the announcing.

2. Next Olympics, instead of gold medals, they should award golden statues of Michale Phelps. I don't feel that I really need to back this up, but I will anyway. Again, the guy is dominant. Watching a semifinal heat last night, he was behind for about half of the race, doing what some would refer to as LOLLYGAGGING. Then suddenly he wins by a full body length. The guy is just that good. While the women's relay kept going on and on I eventually decided that they were leaving the race wide open for Michael Phelps to come out of nowhere and win the relay...by himself. I said this as a joke...but seriously....

3. Something needs to happen with the judging. I don't understand how any of this works. I'm no expert, but stuff that i thought was bad was getting amazing scores and stuff that seemed flawless wasnt even placing.
Solution: Make them all go at once...on the same gymnastics set...last one standing wins.

swimmin...like fishies

fish...
people...
swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimming
what would happen if a fish were to swim in the olympics? weeeell, probably they would win, or lose, depending on the intelligence of the fish.

basically, since there are no technical fish in the Olympics, swimming is easy pickings for Michael Phelps. if this guy was a fish, and also a carnivorous fish, i think he would be the king of all the fishes. (note: i fully realize that fish is the plural of fish). watching the Beijing Olympics i am quite unable so far to wrap my head around how good this guy can swim. one would think that a human can only swim so fast, and in the thousands of years that we have been swimming, the fastest possible time for swimming would already have been reached. nope. it took thousands of years to find someone who also happened to be a fish and as a result is destroying world records AND winning gold medals. in the world of steroids, this soon to be Wheaties cover star is not like the other athletes who need to cheat to win. he is just that good.
why?
well there are several options.
1. he actually is a fish
2. he is an alien...i live in a place that is now famous for both aliens and soft drinks. this makes me an authority and as such an authority i can say with much authority that this guy is possibly maybe (probably not) an alien.
3. man...i cant even think of something that is absurd enough to be funny
4. he is that good.

the funny thing is that so many people are so interested. does any normal american really care about swimming during the 3.8 years in between the Olympics? No. Nobody here normally cares about swimming, or fencing, or gymnastics or such as that is featured in the Olympics.
and that is the magic of the Olympics: they make you care a whole lot about something that is otherwise that insignificant

yay Olympics